The “Baby Boomer Generation” grew up with heroes and role models - people that you could respect and look up to for guiding principles in life. Well, sure, some of the stuff was sugarcoated crap and figments of the creative pens of Hollywood writers. Others gave us hope for a better, brighter tomorrow.
There were some great men, such as John F. Kennedy who gave many Americans the right to feel proud about being American by having the guts to face down the Russians in regard to missiles in Cuba. There was John Glenn (before he was a senator), Neil Armstrong, and others who risked all in a great space race with the Russians. There were others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr. who brought about some positive changes in America, but is still a criminal for many of his actions. That part of history cannot be overlooked.
On the boob tube, we had the likes of Robert Young and his “Father Knows Best” performance. Ozzie and Harriet were there, too, as was young Dennis Mitchell’s father, and the illustrious Mr. Wilson.
I could most relate to Dennis, always wanting to push the limit on things, especially when it came to questioning authority. Sure, law may be law, but it doesn’t mean the law is always right. When confronted by lawmakers as they craft new legislation, I’ve always loved playing the devil’s advocate. Sometimes I did it just for the pleasure I got watching politicos twitch and squirm. Other times I asked some serious questions because they needed to be asked - and no, I didn’t learn to ask questions from watching “Superman” reruns. I learned from many great people I knew early in life. Jack
Smythe, Tom Livingston, Chuck Stone, Hoag Levins, Lynn Washington, and others. Let’s not forget two reporters, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, who worked at the “Washington Post” and toppled a presidency with their reporting.
A lot has changed over the past couple of decades. Newspapers aren’t homogenized “family” newspapers any longer. Now they are “packages” and “products” of large corporations. MLK was wasted years ago. Malcolm X came on the scene with his message of “at any cost.” That is still being interpreted. Louis Farrakhan espouses his words of “unity,” yet creates greater racial divides.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going, they used to say. When times get tough now, people turn to their drugs, guns, knives, and lawsuits. People know how to sue and kill each other - just turn on the TV and see for yourself, but they have no idea how to deal with life, which brings me to my point: Where are the heroes now?
Looking for a hero isn’t really a hard thing to do. You aren’t looking for someone who is willing to die for his country in combat - you are looking for the guy, despite being scared to death, is willing to serve his country - in peace or in combat - to ensure the Constitution remains strong, as well as the law of the land. You are looking for the person who can show you how to stand tall when facing adversity, yet not need to strike the other person in hostility. You are looking for someone who faces the obstacles, yet looks to tomorrow, knowing the obstacles are temporary. You are looking for a person with a positive approach to life, yet, understands that many negative things will be encountered along the roadside. It’s how these people -- the people we can call heroes -- deal with life that makes them a hero.
I’ve grown a lot - emotionally, spiritually, and yes, even physically, over the past 18 years. That’s usually how things work. I was in the Army and learned many things. I learned bravery doesn’t always mean being “John Wayne.” Had John Wayne ever tried his tricks in real combat, John Wayne never would have been alive to make a movie.
Fatherhood came to visit me, bringing challenges almost daily. Dealing with the cries of a baby. Dealing with changing a diaper. Learning to have the patience to assemble those “easy-to-assemble” 5,000 piece toys that has to be put together in three hours and bow-tied for storage under the Christmas tree. How about having the patience to help your children understand math, print the letters of the alphabet, or not be afraid of monster under the bed.
Separation and divorce struck me, too, and forced me to do some growing, as well as strength my relationship with God. Oops. There’s that no-no word. Oh well. I’m not ashamed of God, and I pray He isn’t too ashamed of me.
Over the past few years I’ve chatted with a reporter, Jeff Newell, in Florida, in email,
ICQ, and on the phone. Jeff works for the
Northwest Florida Daily News. He is a terrific guy who has a keen sense of news, but also an eye for “people stories.” He goes for drives on the unbeaten roads in his area and often stops to chat with others he sees, asking questions. That’s the trait of a good newsman - always being on the lookout for a story. It’s called “enterprise reporting.”
Jeff is active in many things in life. When he isn’t hacking away on one of his website for journalists or posting all sorts of information about Navy boats (those cracker jacks just love those floating cities being called boats - trust me!), he is probably busy with participation in a local ham radio operators club, a local press club, or playing trumpet in the Emerald Coast Community band. The last option could be that he is online - and tied up chatting with me, so have pity on Jeff.
There is one thing I forget to mention about Jeff. It’s the one thing he often forgets to tell people, I would imagine. Jeff has been battling adrenal cancer for about five years. The times have been tough, but Jeff has never stopped hoping for the best in all situations. That’s something to admire.
I received an email from Jeff recently, telling me to check out a story in his paper. Jeff and I swap URLs for news stories a lot, so it was nothing unusual, at least not until I read the first paragraph of the story by Tom McLaughlin in the Sept. 10, 2000 issue. Part of the story is reprinted here with the paper’s permission:
“ORLANDO - There are times when, somewhere deep in his eyes, you think you can see the pain, either the physical pain or the emotional pain he carries knowing that even after years of fighting he still can't claim victory over the killer lurking inside him.
“But with Jeff Newell, you never know for sure.
“That's because he'll never give in long enough to whine about it or even long enough to lash out at some inane question. And that pain is apt to disappear in an instant when those eyes light up with amusement at a light-hearted comment.
“They call it courage. Saturday night in Orlando, Newell, a resident of Fort Walton Beach and Daily News reporter, was honored in grand style for that trait by the American Cancer Society.”
Jeff was honored that night, along with three other people, with the American Cancer Society’s Florida Chapter “Courage Award.” It’s been given since the 1980s to honor survivors of all forms of the dread disease.
Since he was diagnosed, Jeff has gone under the knife many times, but he has also dealt with more chemotherapy treatments than I can count. Each time Jeff was in the hospital, he made sure there was someone nearby to keep his close friends updated on his status. Did he need to do that? No, but he did, as he knew we were all pulling for him. He knew we all needed to hear the good news as soon as possible.
Connie Ferriola, who presented Jeff with his “Courage Award,” said, "Through his zest for life, Jeff shows all he knows, all he meets and all he writes for that cancer is simply an inconvenience, and he won't let it conquer his life.” Yep, that sums it up when it comes to Jeff. Don’t feel sorry for him - at least not to his face. Jeff will tell you about someone else who “has it worse.”
When Jeff made his acceptance speech, according to the article, he said he accepted it on behalf of all those who are now battling cancer, but also for those who have gone before him.
"There are so many people who will never receive this award, but have been through everything I've been through and more," he said. "I can't help but think about those others and hope that I represent them well. Anybody who's got to fight this disease has got my respect."
When I read the story, I cried. Jeff has been a great friend to me over the years. He talked with me often while I dealt with struggles during my divorce. He listened when I just talked about fears in life, mostly involving my children and how they would cope with divorce, and so on. He would often offer his advice, but in a friendly way. Instead of telling me that I had a dumb idea, he would personify his comments, making the medicine a little easier to take.
Another friend, who also lives in Florida, though hours away from Jeff, is
Emery Jeffreys. He is presently works as webmaster for
Stetson University, but has been involved in journalism and online publishing since I was a child. Well, that makes it sound like Emery is old, but really he isn’t. I’m just a lot younger than he is old, which makes things balance out.
Over the past few years, Emery and I have often chatted about designing web pages, finding sources for articles, and what program to use for managing websites. Past that, on a much deeper level, Emery and I have taken turns lending an ear - or a proverbial shoulder to each other. Accountability among men, but also being a friend, is what I call it. They are things you don’t find in just every guy friend you have - or woman friend, either. Friends like Emery don’t come along very often - and when they do, they are often like a bottle rocket: bright, friendly, and warm one day and gone the next. Emery and I have been chatting for about five years, as well. I think we began chatting because of a signature line he used on his email.
When is the last time you faced a challenging struggle in your life? Was there someone, anyone in life that you could see in a similar situation, hoping to be able to emulate their response? I recently faced with a serious situation. Inside, my gut reaction to the situation was to take matters in my own hand and wring someone’s neck. That would have gotten things started for me. Pain for the other person would follow. Inside, however, I knew that was the wrong response.
For me to deal with the situation, in an appropriate manner, I needed to calm down - and in a hurry, too. I called Emery, knowing he was a strong Christian, and told him I needed to talk. It was around one in the morning when I called. He listened, we chatted, he offered some good suggestions and advice, and was a friend in time of need. The thing that really struck me was the following day. He called me - just to see how I was doing. He’s done this in the past, just as I’ve done the same for him. This time, however, it just touched me so deep. It was like a brother reaching out to me.
When we think of heroes, we often think of the ones Hollywood offers with their phony or tear-jerking storylines. When we think of heroes, we should, instead, be able to think of people - living people - who are examples to us all. People like a president, a military leader, business leaders, church, and community leaders. These people should all be role models, but are often overlooked or involved in too many scandals for anyone to view these people as leaders, heroes, or role models.
For the next few weeks, focus on your life. See where you have weak points, and once you have listed them, focus on finding a role model to help you change those areas. Maybe you will need several role models. This is an exercise for people of all ages to do. Life is a continuing growth process, so continue growing, and you will find that life is often more
enjoyable.
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"Where
Have the Heroes Gone?"
