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Just because something is possible does not automatically make it a worthwhile idea. Consider the situation I encountered in a restroom earlier this afternoon. I was in Costco to buy another thirty-six rolls of toilet paper -- now that my pre-millennium stash is almost gone -- when nature called. I walked past the giant "no merchandise permitted beyond this point" sign only to hear a very loud voice roaring through the men's room door. Nature reordered my priorities instantly, pushing "avoid crazy people in public restrooms" to the top of the list, but not before I figured out what was going on. Evidently someone felt so pressed for time they chose to have a cellphone conversation while simultaneously using the restroom for more traditional activities.
Aside from pizza delivery drivers and cardiac surgeons, I do not believe that anyone's time is quite that valuable. And as much as I adore any gadget that runs on batteries and sports an LCD screen, a few places should remain free from electronic chirping and annoying chatter, particularly restroom stalls and movie theatres.
That is why I think Apple should release a combination Mac-friendly combination Personal Digital Assistant and cell phone as soon as possible. The company that gave us oh-so-cool wireless networking and point and click movie editing should be able to engineer a PDA that automatically goes quiet within twenty feet of porcelain and sleeps in a dark room that smells like buttered popcorn and Junior Mints.
Ever since Bill Gates "created" MS-DOS by re-labeling someone else's primitive operating system, Apple has been saving us from abominable implementations of potentially useful technology. Apple has borrowed at times too, but at least they have the good taste to swipe the good stuff. With the Internet spreading like kudzu on steroids, never in history have there been so many foolhardy ideas that need to be displaced from the marketplace as quickly as possible.
Soon everyone will be able to do their grocery shopping, order a pizza, and send a potted petunia to Mom from the backseat of a taxi on the ride home from the airport. Do we really want the same company foolish enough to build a programming language into a an email program to build the next generation of personal digital assistants? Next time, instead of
"ILOVEYOU" messages, our friends will be deluged with boxes from Amazon stuffed with Chia Pets.
Steve, it is time to add a fifth box to Apple's hardware lineup. We need a gizmo that runs on batteries, sports an LCD screen, and is smart enough to protect us from ourselves. A device that can talk to our Macs in the next room or the next state, and that can serve as a benchmark for less skilled companies to imitate. In other words, an appliance to save us from the next dreadful application of a good idea.
The company that emancipated us from beige and is already helping us meet George Jetson for real can build that, right?
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"When
Bad Things Happen to Good Technology"
